


Pillow talk

by SwarleyWritesFanfiction



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Established Relationship, Feelings, Fluff, M/M, Pillow Talk, Post-Canon, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:40:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22031959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwarleyWritesFanfiction/pseuds/SwarleyWritesFanfiction
Summary: Garak finally decides to explain to Julian why he returned to DS9. Cardassia did not longer feel like home; at least not yet.
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	Pillow talk

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first -hopefully of many- Garashir fic. It's just something simple and decided to give it a go.  
> Apologies if there's any grammar/spelling mistake.

**Pillow talk**

"Your hair is so soft my dear" Garak said breaking the silence as he stared in the doctor's eyes while he caressed his hair. "And messy", he added. Of course it was messy if they had just had sex.

"Shut up" Julian replied with a smile, grabbing Garak's hand and placing a gentle kiss on it.

"Make me."

"Again?"

"I fail to see why not" Garak replied. Julian kissed Garak's lips and found his way down to his neck, one of the most sensitive parts of the Cardassian, who yearned pleasantly. A smile was drawn on Julian's face once more.

"I love that you enjoy this" Julian said in a playful tone.

"My dear?" Garak said after a few moments, just when Julian had begun kissing his torso.

"Yes, Elim?" Julian raised his head and stared at his partner.

"I just…" he began. "I just wanted to tell you how glad I am to be back" Garak said quietly.

"You know we don't have to talk about it now" Julian said.

Ever since the Cardassian had been back to the station two months ago, he had not brought up his return from his home planet, at last not in depth. All he had told Julian was that he was not ready to stay there, he realized he had some things left to do on Deep Space Nine. Those "things", to Julian's surprise, had to do with the doctor and how Garak felt towards him. A lifetime of secrets, of denying himself simple pleasures, of doing things he had then regretted, of denying himself love, because who could love such a creature? And how could someone like _him_ be capable of love? He had struggled with those thoughts for quite some years now, all thanks to Julian, and being apart from him only made things worse, which lead to the realization that what he felt was in fact love. Of course, he did not let the young man know that at first.

Julian had broken up with Ezri just a month after they had begun dating because the doctor himself had realized he was in love with Garak. He told Ezri one night in his quarters, who understood completely and held him as he cried in regret for not having said anything back when he had the chance. He had felt that way for a few years now, but he refused to accept those feelings and pushed them aside, and drove himself into relationships which did not fulfill him nor lasted long. Julian and Garak stayed in touch during their time apart, both of them enjoying every second of their conversations, of their discussions. Ezri, Kira and Quark could tell when Julian had just talked to Garak: he was radiant right after a call. When the Cardassian went back to the station, they started spending every free second they had together, not only their usual lunches but even dinners and occasionally breakfasts.

A month went by like that, and everyone was tired of whatever the here they were doing. Pretty much since they starting having their "lunches" everyone –but the ones involved, apparently- knew they wanted more of their friendship, but neither of them dared to do or say anything. Now, both of them were aware of their feelings but would not act upon them, they did not want to ruin what they had. It was not until Ezri and Quark intervened that Garak asked Julian out, and they told him that if he did not tell Julian how he felt, they would. Garak did, and Julian was surprised to find out he was the reason he was back.

Since then, they started dating, and things were going well. Julian knew Garak had trouble opening up about his past, about his feelings, about what he wanted, but he loved him nonetheless. Garak knew that he needed to share more things with his now partner, and he tried, but it costed him a great deal. Garak had mentioned a couple of times that he had to explain why he was back, but he was not ready yet; Julian never pushed him, and just reassured him he would be there when he needed to talk about it.

"I know, but I want to" Garak replied after what felt like an eternity. "My dear, you know you mean the world to me. Going to Cardassia, to a new Cardassia, made me understand I wanted you by my side. You know about my past, about the awful things I've done, and yet you haven't pushed me aside. For some reason I don't quite understand, that has only brought us closer."

"Because I know you Garak, the real you who you refuse to see. I know you've changed; I have seen you change" Julian interrupted. "I love talking to you, I love arguing about Cardassian literature, about philosophy, about anything. And I love that you listen to me, that you at least pretend to take interest in my medical stuff."

"I don't think I deserve you, doctor."

"Please don't say that" Julian asked in a sad tone.

"I mean it. You could be with anyone you want but-"

"But I want to be with you, Garak" Julian assures him. "I spent years denying that, I lied to myself saying that I only wanted to have you as a friend, but none of my friends made me feel the way you did; it was simply different. So please, don't go there."

"I still don't get why. But I also don't understand how you make this" he gestured towards the room "feel like home to me. I didn't feel like that in Cardassia, doctor. I feel it here, now, with you" Garak said softly and held Julian's hand. "Cardassia may feel like home again at some point, I'm certain. But I also know, it will only feel that way if it's with you." Julian could not help himself any longer and kissed him passionately.

"You're beautiful, did you know that?" Julian said, breaking the kiss.

"Doctor."

"I hope someday you get to see it."

"I can assure you that won't happen any time soon."

"Too bad, I will have to remind it to you more often. I will say it until the day we move to Cardassia" Garak embraced Julian, who kissed his neck. One of the many things he had denied himself from was physical contact, at least since his last proper partner years ago. Touching Julian, being touched by Julian, holding his hand, his hips, kissing him, running his hands through his hair, he wanted it, all of it.

"Perhaps by then things will be different" Garak added, facing once again the young man.

"I sure hope so."

"I wish I could say there was a deeper reason to my return. But for now, that's all I can out into words, my dear. My sincere apology if you expected more."

"Garak, I will listen to as much or as little as you want to say to me, you don't need to apologize. I love you."

"I love you too" Garak said, still not getting used to that combination of words.

"You don't have to say it if you don't feel like it. Don't just do it because I do."

"I do want to. It's just… uneasy."

"I know; you don't have to worry about it, let's just rest now" Julian said and hugged Garak.

"You're ridiculously comfortable and warm" Garak smiled. Julian made a sound of approval, and Garak knew he was smiling too. They fell asleep not long after, holding onto one another.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, hope you liked it! I also hope I didn't write them too ooc (if I did, please let me know). I have a couple more ideas on these two which I hope to write down sooner than later.


End file.
